I have found myself, like the rest of the world, infatuated with Shane and Ilya’s love story in Heated Rivalry, a series on HBO Max that received 96% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Two major hockey stars are divided by rivalry yet intertwined by a magnetic pull they both can’t seem to understand. The series follows the development of Shane and Ilya’s unexpected, “hidden love “trope over the span of a decade. 

At first, I wondered “am I really jealous of a man?” I mean, I found myself not necessarily attracted to these hockey players, but attracted to what a man is allowed to have in love: the freedom to relate to someone without already being positioned as “less than.”

While their story revolves around hidden love, their ability to love one another from an equal playing field really stood out to me. Specifically, I envied their freedom. 

BHS English teacher Ms. Bertolotti shared her perspective: “You mentioned their freedom, but I didn’t actually see it in that way. I focused on how they felt like they had to keep [their relationship] a secret because of their jobs. Much of the popularity of the show is just that it’s a solidly, well-put-together story regardless of whoever the characters are—they are very real. Few people who watch the show are going to  become professional hockey players, but they are going to experience unrequited love and wanting what they can’t have…which is why I think the show resonates with people so much.”

I’m jealous of the simplicity of their relationship, where neither feels the need to confine to “traditional” societal expectations. Instead, the dynamic of their relationship is completely authentic. Both parties have a sense of security about the connection they share because that’s what they get to worry about—their love and the equal standpoint it offers them. A love where degradation and centuries of engrained hate don’t cast shadows on every action. 

Ilya and Shane’s connection represents a genderless love. Not because gender isn’t relevant, but because gender doesn’t dictate the dynamic of their intimacy.

An anonymous BHS senior explained, “I think for a lot of women, it’s refreshing to see no unequal power dynamics in a relationship,” then added, “I think men benefit more than women from dating, which is why a lot of straight women are opting out of dating.”

Ilya and Shane’s relationship is built on the foundation of the individual rather than the societal roles that are automatically assigned to them. A solely dominant party doesn’t exist within their connection, it’s only two people. 

Watching Shane and Ilya yearn for each other across the span of 10 years and witnessing a connection unrestricted by patriarchal roles subconsciously evokes yearning in us women. It’s not about the nature of their relationship—it’s about lack. The lack of privilege. Love becomes something we negotiate instead of inhabiting. A place where symmetry can exist. Where being seen doesn’t come at the cost of being diminished. 

I do not want to be Ilya or Shane. I want what they’re allowed to feel.

You should watch Heated Rivalry and leave a comment below about what you think.