Tony Park: The Man, The Myth, The Phat Man—A Verbatim Interview

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Tony Park: The Man, The Myth, The Phat Man—A Verbatim Interview

Aidan Radcliffe and Chris Curley

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This past week, two Eagle’s Cry interviewers had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Bethpages’ own, Mr. Tony Park. Park is the head writer of the “Walk in the Park, with Tony Park.” Through this he has seen much success as furthered his career as “The Connoisseur of Communism, The Art of Kate Winslet, and the super fan of Jennifer Lopez.” We are honored to Have Mr. Park esq. as a guest on, The Eagles Cry.

 

The Eagle’s Cry: How are you today?

Tony Park: “I’m feeling pretty snazzy today, ate a good breakfast, went for a run, worshipped the devil. Just been a pretty good day as is.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Favorite genre of music?

Tony Park: “I’m a big fan of both christian rock music as well as kpop, but I’d have to say Israeli folk music is my favorite. I love the sounds and the culture behind the beautiful music.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Political ideas?

Tony Park: “God bless the Red Star, I love Big Brother.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Do you feel the issues of the Hong Kong protests lead will lead to Tiananmen Square two?

Tony Park: “Yes, the dire political constraints presented to us could be a huge issue. I’m very worried by the social and political issues that may either bring about a huge social revoultion, or bring in a truly poor state of martial law and the loss of civil rights.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Cupcakes or Muffins?

Tony Park: “Oh **** yeah man, I love me some ‘fins’ they’re better for waking up than Folgers in your cup!“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Which Korea is best Korea?

Tony Park: “Many debate oftenly between the best Korea beng either North or South, however I have always believed the best Korea is the less known, ‘Middle Korea’. It is a beautiful place existing somewhere between Candy Land and San Bernadino and is a truly great place.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: How do you feel about the award winning Netflix drama, “Green Eggs and Ham?”

Tony Park: “Yes.“

 

The Eagle’s Cry: How do you feel about being a senior at BHS?

Tony Park: “Y’know what I’m sayin’ the senior year here at BHS has been very interesting, ya know I’m very enthusiastic about leaving this place and going to a nice college and learning all the medical skills.”

 

The Eagle’s Cry: How do you feel about the people at BHS?

Tony Park: “Y’know BHS is a very diverse place, but the freshmen blocking up the hallways.”

 

The Eagle’s Cry: So you don’t like the people here?

Tony Park: “No.”

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Where do you want to go to college?

Tony Park: “Y’know what I’m saying, I’m tryna go to a medical school, like Stonybrook, become a dentist out here.” 

 

The Eagle’s Cry: Some people in BHS have described you as the most interesting man in the school. How do you feel about this?

 

Tony Park: “Frankly, I think this is a very disconcerting comment, being called the most interesting man in the Bethpage. We need to learn a lot from people and cultures like me.”