Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth It?


Sara Northgard, Editor/Journalist

Couples break-up, people fall out of love. It happens every day.

However, some relationships beat all odds. Long-distance relationships—like any other relationship—take maturity and responsibility. When students go to separate colleges after high school, they may feel their relationship threatened by the long miles in between. While this is true in some cases, according to Inspiring Tips—a blog based on relationships—only 40% of couples in long-distance relationships break up.

Overcoming the miles between you and your partner is undoubtedly difficult; however, studies have shown that distance can improve communication in the relationship. A psychology study by University of Denver showed couples who’ve endured the distance believe their relationships will last longer than those who haven’t. Women, unlike men, are more capable of adjusting to long-distance relationship, a 1994 study concluded. These types of relationships aren’t uncommon either, with nearly 75% of couples having attempted some sort of long-distance relationship.

Curious as to how long-distance relationships affect students and faculty here at BHS, I talked to one of our own—Mr. Malossi.

Mr. Malossi has been with his wife since his senior year (her junior year) of high school. Post-graduation, the two of them decided to stay together, despite the 1-hour-42 minutes distance between them.

Mr. Malossi cites “Lots of phone calls. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of long-distance phone calls, which you kids won’t understand because they don’t charge extra for long distance anymore! Stay off my lawn!!”

Before cell phone networks had unlimited calls and data, couples who attempted long-distance relationships suffered large phone bills due to the number of phone calls, the distance between, and the time the calls lasted. Fortunately for Mr. and Mrs. Malossi, the money spent was worth it, and they got married and had two children.

“Many, many of those calls were spent in tears–on her end, of course,” Mr. Malossi said. “I’m 100% macho and don’t have tear ducts. However, it’s tough sometimes.”

Unfortunately, some couples aren’t so lucky. A 2006 online study concluded that most long-distance-surviving couples break up within three months of reuniting. When couples are apart, they are faced with temptation to cheat. Often, these couples develop personal changes that aren’t compatible with each other once they reunite. Even if the couple loves each other, it may be hard to be together due to the separation they had faced previously. Environment changes us, and those changes may not benefit our relationship.

So how does one beat the odds?

According to the magazine Psychology Today, communication is key. Talk about the otherwise “boring details” like what you ate for dinner, or where you went that day. You also shouldn’t rely solely on technology. The magazine suggests keeping something tangible from your partner, such as a t-shirt or a blanket, instead of continuously FaceTiming. So ditch the phones once in a while.

Trusting your partner is important, too. No-one likes a clinger, and even though you two may be miles apart, constantly texting and calling because you’re worried or lonely is not ideal. And remember, don’t put your life on hold. People change, and that’s okay. You can try to make your relationship work, and hopefully, it does, but sometimes, it won’t. Allow yourself to experience life; don’t miss out on parties because your partner doesn’t want you to go.

Believe in your relationship, because as Mr. Malossi so wisely said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder–unless it doesn’t.”