How to Avoid Being Terminated by Your New ID


We all know the value of our school IDs: they let administrators and teachers know who is supposed to be here and who might cause harm. However, did you know that your ID could hurt you very badly?

Editor’s note: This story is (mostly) humorous.

True story: When I was walking down the steps by the science wing, my ID swung and got caught on the back of some kid’s bag—with those crazy loops on the back—and he didn’t realize I’d gotten caught, so he proceeded to walk…and boy, did he walk heckin’ fast.

Basically, I got dragged down the hallway by my ID badge, hooked hopelessly on his backpack. I ended up dropping my binder because I couldn’t unhook it with one hand. I finally got unlooped from the kid and walked to class embarrassed. The next period, I had a bruise and rash on my neck from being dragged. It’s lit.

If that weren’t bad enough, the next day—well, I don’t know how I managed to do this—after lifeguarding, I decided to run to the bathroom before I proceeded to lunch. As I was taking my bag off, a sharp piece of metal sticking out of my ID badge sliced my pinky finger open like it was a piece o’ filet mignon.

I’m not one to exaggerate when I say… it SLICED my poor finger open. I mean there was skin quite literally hanging off my finger like survivors on the Titanic.

And it’s not just me. I know what you’re all thinking. An ID actually almost killed one of BHS’s most beloved teachers.

The story goes like this: One day early this year, BHS English teacher Mrs. Whalen was making photocopies for her one of her classes when the copy machine got jammed. Naturally, she walked around to the side of the printer to see what was wrong and unjam it. But what she didn’t expect came when she leaned over to fix the printer: her ID badge “got sucked into the paper shredder.” As Ms. Whalen struggled to pull her doomed ID out of the shredder, it got pulled it in further and further by the gnashing teeth of the demonic shredder.

Eventually Ms. Whalen got her ID out of the shredder just in the nick of time. Ms.Whalen survived, but her ID did not. See pictures above.

It’s not just the students, in other words.  Everyone needs to look out for these dangerous devices.  In all seriousness, the school should provide us breakaway lanyards so this does not happen.  If you had a similar issue—even if it’s not life-threatening—please leave a comment.