Stars: 3 out of 5

SPOILER WARNING: SPOILERS ABOUND IN THIS ARTICLE!!!!!

As many Bethpageians buzz about the newest addition (and the chilling conclusion) to the decade long Avengers cinematic universe many knots have been tied with dental floss—and not the sturdiest of ropes. While opponents have incessantly pontificated about the satiating conclusions to the stories told through years of set-up, it is ignorant to accept anything less than perfection for such an exceptional series—yet unfortunately for Marvel fans—their present has been wrapped in faberge paper but tied up in a lousily tied in silly string. For all readers continuing, be aware: spoilers ahead.

It is difficult to challenge the continuity of the Marvel timeline, and while Marvel’s take on time travel is refreshing, just as Endgame does many other things right—it is difficult to praise a movie that takes a decade long series and spits in the face of a satisfying ending. From Captain America to Thanos it just seems like every little story node could have been handled better. Infinity War was a thrilling movie that had a decade of set up and pulled it off masterfully, with shocks and cliffhangers that both stunned and intrigued viewers who pondered on theories until Endgame was released—alas just a disappointment to a plethora of magnificent theories—and now mostly grievances remain as Marvel pushes forward with Phase 4.

Captain America

Captain America has been a staple in the MCU for sometime now and Chris Evans has thoroughly given an impressive performance to America’s Crusader. Steve Rogers was a well written and well developed character who deserved happiness and although it seemed a poor choice—it was satisfying to see Rogers finally get to be with Peggy Carter—even though it likely entirely ruined the entirely timeline. Yet if Rogers was in that timeline, where was he while his best friend Bucky was being tortured and brainwashed in Siberia? The same best friend who went on to murder his other best friends family and countless innocent lives? Yet even worse is Rogers’ decision to give his shield to Falcon—a completely unqualified candidate. It took Roger’s years of training to be Captain America and lest not forget—being a super soldier, yet the initial decision to make Roger’s Captain America was his leadership ability and gusto in working outside the box. So what qualifies Falcon? I mean he flys I guess. Someone like War Machine or Bucky would be much better options.

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel was a completely uninspired and boring portal of very powerful superhero. Brie Larson gives a completely pretentious vibe to a character who does literally nothing the whole movie. Her entire motive is to fix what Thanos did and yet she can’t be seen for the majority of the movie until she decides to blow one ship up and disappear. Early in the movie they insinuate that Captain Marvel has a relationship with Black Widow, yet she can’t be seen to help at any point or even pretend to be sad over Romanov’s fate. Captain Marvel brought a boring, uninspired, lackluster mess to a movie that had so many things going for it.

Everyone is still in High School?

I understand the need to keep continuity in and keep the luster of a “young” Peter Parker. Yet when everyone comes back from the snap, five years have still passed—and they’re all STILL in High School?

Iron Man

Robert Downey Jr. has given the performance of a lifetime as Iron Man. There are so many thing he’s done flawlessly to humanize this character and create a memorable portrayal  of a beloved hero yet the way they executed the final chapter of Iron Man was a true shame and a disappointment. I’m not particularly upset he died just that it was unnecessary. He died using his Infinity Gauntlet (which makes no sense he could just make one when the harbinger of death had to scour the known universe to find a dying star to craft a near mythical object) to snap Thanos and his armies out of existence. This leaves open an interesting arc where they could be brought back should the glove fall into the wrong hands. Yet why did Iron Man and The Hulk even muster the energy to try to use the Gauntlet. When a Celestial Being like Captain Marvel could probably do it any given Tuesday, or Thor—who’s y’know—a literal god, who took the full embrace of a dying star with little injury except needing a nap, but no of course he can’t use the infinity stones.

Endgame truly wasn’t a bad movie—production value and effort was a staple—but it left so much to be desired.